


Lost and Found

by dawnfells



Series: Save Me, Save You [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 00:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20219056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnfells/pseuds/dawnfells
Summary: He left Earth to seek the threat looming over the universe, fought Thanos and saved the universe, got his brother back, lost his father, got stranded in Sakaar, found out that he had a sister, fought that sister, lost his eye, and had to destroy Asgard in order to save his people. After going through all of those events, Thor ended up going back to Earth to ask for help and to find a new place to live for his people, only to find out that The Avengers was broken and that he lost another person important to him.Now, despite his grieves and personal struggles, he had to be strong and focused to rebuild Asgard and lead his people. Too bad, it was not as easy as he wanted it to be.(Or, the sequel ofSave You, Save Me)





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Reading Save You, Save Me is not mandatory, but I think since this is the continuation of the last chapter, it might be easier to read that first before reading this one. But if anyone is interested in this but too lazy to read the first one, I put the summary at the endnote, along with how this story is not compliant with Infinity War and Endgame.
> 
> As always, this is not beta read. I have started writing this months ago, but struggles to continue because...well, this one is the angst counterpart of the more fluffier first story and I feel sad writing this one, and this is mostly from Thor's POV and I feel like I can't write him right. Not to mention, Endgame messed up my emotions. Hopefully, this can be read easily. Criticisms and voluntary editors are welcome, lol.

_Thor watched as Steven spun gracefully, before settling on a standing position. He stood on one leg while his other leg was raised behind his body. Thor recognized it as a dance—Steven had wanted to show him that when he arrived at the compound. And now they were there, by the lake, while Steve danced to classical music. The dance Steven danced was beautiful, Thor recognized some moves that Steven often used when he was fighting, except now he used those moves to dance. Thor watched, mesmerized as Steve leaped and spun in the air before landing gracefully, soon finishing his routine._

_He never thought that Steven would be such a good dancer. But then again, the way he fought was also as graceful as the way he danced, so maybe Thor shouldn’t be surprised. Thor clapped and Steven smiled brightly as he walked towards Thor and kissed him. He sat down before he finally told Thor while taking one of the sandwiches they prepared for their little picnic, “I have been learning ballet, Natasha said it would help me fight better since I fought like a dancer anyway, apparently. She also said I need to have a new hobby.”_

“_Ballet? Natasha was a dancer, yes?”_

_He had heard about it before, though admittedly, he had never seen it. He was not surprised that Natasha was the one who suggested that Steven should try it. And he was grateful for her because it gave him a chance to see such a beautiful dance from his lover._

“_Well, if Natasha said it would help you fight better, then maybe I should try it too,” Thor mused. He had been learning to fight less bluntly, Steven had been teaching him some of his moves, too._

“_You should! It’s quite challenging,” Steven said, and then there was a glint in his eyes, “And maybe we can dance together!”_

Someone jostled Thor awake, blurring the dream he had been dreaming of. He opened his eyes right away—the latest events made him unable to rest well. He saw Danvers looking at him as if she was wondering what made the God of Thunder smiled in his dream, but she only said, “We are going to land soon.”

Thor nodded, feeling tired after the destruction of Asgard. He was on his way to Earth, wanting to seek asylum there for his people. He was separated from them now, though, while his people were using the slower ships, he and Bruce were using Danvers’ ship to come to Earth faster. They had to warn The Avengers that they needed help so they would be ready. He surely hoped that they would help them, Thor had no idea where to go, even Danvers didn’t have a place she knew where they could get help.

He was grateful for Danvers, anyway. She came to them while they migrating to help them, even though she had no duty and they only knew each other for a few weeks. They met each other because they were both investigating the infinity stones and somehow they ended up fighting together along with The Guardians of The Galaxy to stop Thanos from possessing all of the infinity stones and destroyed the universe. That had been a hard-fought battle and Thor barely had rest before he found out that Loki was alive and had been ruling Asgard, lost his father, got stranded in Sakaar, fought his sister, and then Ragnarok.

Yeah, it had been an eventful few months, so he was grateful for any help. It had been such a long time since he visited Earth. It had been a long time since he last met Steven, too, and he couldn’t wait to see him. At least, seeing Steven again would give him some comfort. Even though he was so tired, so nervous about the fate of his people, he still felt giddiness at being able to see Steven again.

He walked towards to pilot pit where Danvers was piloting and then sat down as they made a jump towards Earth. His nervousness only grew as they grew closer to Earth, perhaps only challenged by Bruce who was basically frozen in another seat. Bruce had been having a hard time, too.

And soon enough, they finally landed on The Avengers’ Compound, somehow not getting attacked despite being a foreign ship. It took a while before they finally came out and Thor’s face fell when he didn’t see Steve greeting him—only Natasha and Stark. He looked around, hoping to see that Steven was around, or even Sam, but no—he didn’t see them at all.

“Hello,” Bruce greeted, still sounding nervous, especially when he stole a look at Natasha. Thor wanted to snicker—but he held back. Natasha looked nervous too when she saw them, which was odd because she was usually so composed.

“You guys look like crap,” Stark said, as a greeting, before turning to Danvers, looking at her suit in a judging manner, before finally wondered, “And who is this?”

“Where is Fury?” Danvers asked, instead of answering Stark’s question, “Is he here?”

“No, he is not, but his underling is here,” Stark answered, getting a frown from Danvers in return. Thor observed him—Stark looked nervous, too, like Natasha, though he was definitely trying hard to disguise it. “So, I guess there was a lot of news to catch up on, huh?”

“Asgard is gone, my people and I are seeking refuge. I am wondering if we can stay on Earth temporarily, at least until I can find a suitable planet to start anew,” Thor spurted out. He held back from asking where Steven was, he needed to focus on the more important thing.

“Well, that might be easier several months ago,” Stark sighed, “I am not sure we can let you stay here right now.”

“Why? I know places they can stay,” Danvers said—and well, Thor didn’t know that. He just assumed that she would only help them come here. That was a pleasant surprise, though he was still confused as to why Stark and Natasha seemed so hesitant and wary, why couldn’t they help him?

“It’s not that easy,” Stark said, but then he got distracted by Thor again, looking at his face and frowned, “Do you need medical attention? Your eye is all...”

“No, it’s alright, I am healing,” Thor said. His eye was not a priority right now, he needed help for his people, “Why can’t you help?”

“Come on, I will explain everything. Let’s go inside. You too, New Girl.”

***

Thor followed Natasha to the lakeside, the place where The Avengers often had picnics together. Black Widow usually held herself with grace, Thor often found her to be the most sturdy among The Avengers, even more than Steven. But now, she looked tired, looked like she was going to break down. Thor ached to comfort her, but he had no idea what caused her to crumble like this. Thor didn’t think it was because of Banner—she was fine the last time they met, she was happy and settling down, just like Steven.

Thor had a nagging feeling that a lot of things had happened when he was gone, and those things were not good. The hopefulness he had been feeling started to disippate.

“Is there something wrong?” Thor finally spoke up, because Natasha kept silent even when they had arrived, in fact, she looked like she didn't want to speak at all, “Where’s Steven? Sam? It is awfully quiet here.”

“They are not here,” Natasha said and her voices wavered. Thor had never heard her speak in this manner, not since Maximoff reminded her of her past, “When you were away, something happened.”

Thor's heart fell, his hunch was right. He sat down on the chair there, suddenly feeling tired. He stared at the lake, hoping that this something was not related to Steven. Though, considering that Steven and Sam were gone, it was likely that it had something with them. Thor felt worried about them and he felt like he was going to drown in his worry for his people, his friends, and his lover.

“I am listening.”

“When you were gone, the United Nations issued an Accords that required enhanced and people with abilities to register. The Avengers were given a choice to sign or not to sign, if we sign, we could continue to be an Avenger, if we didn’t sign, we had to retire. Steve and Sam decided not to sign it,” Natasha started to explain. She didn't sit down, she didn’t even come near Thor, though her voice was clear enough, “I am not sure the UN would let your people reside here that easily—maybe if you sign the Accords and register yourselves, but I am really not sure about this.”

Thor listened and trying to grasp Natasha's explanation. It wasn't much, but he assumed that it had something to do with the government. He knew what the United Nations was. If only his people didn't need help now, he didn't see why he had to sign. Earth government shad no power over him and from what he observed, the government had a lot of problems. He had no reason to trust them.

But now he needed their help and he might be under their mercy if he wanted his people to survive. But if Steven and Sam didn't sign, he felt uneasy. He trusted their judgments, more than other people.

“What is this Accord? If Steven was against it, I am sure he had a good reason,” Thor said, trying to be neutral about this, he needed more information, but first he needed to get help, “Can my people at least have a stop around here? They are going to be here in two days and our stocks are running out.”

They needed food, first and foremost. Medicines for those who are injured. After that, they could go find somewhere they could resettle.

“We will talk about it later, we will contact people we know,” Natasha said, finally looking at him. Her green eyes seemed duller than usual, “We will try to help you, but you can’t expect too much from us. It has been hard lately.”

“I understand,” Thor nodded. Then Steven was not here and Thor couldn't meet him right away. He missed Steven a lot, he wished he could go hug him. But he had time, he could give him a visit, “So, where is Steven now? Did he move to his apartment? I want to consult him, too.”

“No, he is not there, I need to tell you something else.”

Thor had been hoping that it was only that. But seemed like it was more complicated than he thought.

“What is it?”

Natasha took a long breath.

“When we were signing the Accords, the place where we signed it was bombed. There were important people killed. Bucky was suspected so there was an order to kill him on sight.”

Bucky. Steven's friend from the past, the one Steven had been looking for. This certainly getting more complicated and if Natasha couldn't even explain it more cleanly—she looked like she was going to cry at having to explain this to him—then it must result in something bad. And Steven was involved. Thor was growing warier and he wanted Natasha to stop explaining, wanted to pretend that everything was fine. He couldn't.

“Steven decided to protect him, didn’t he?”

He would be more surprised if Steven didn't step in.

“Yes, he and Sam decided to find Bucky before the police did. They all got caught, though, but Bucky managed to get free. Steve caught him again and apparently Bucky told Steve that there were other dangerous Winter Soldiers in Siberia about to get released to the world,” Natasha started to spill, words coming out quickly from her mouth as if she wanted this to be over too. Thor barely catch what she was trying to say, “So, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Clint, and someone decided to go Siberia even though they were forbidden to go abroad without permissions because of the Accords. Tony, I, and some other people were sent to catch them at the airport. Steve and Bucky managed to get away and went to Siberia, while the others were prisoned.”

Natasha stopped, looking back at the lake. It felt like she was stalling from telling him information that would matter the most. Thor was not sure if it was on purpose of if Natasha didn't realize that she had been doing that. Thor waited for her, he didn't want to push her because she truly looked like she was on the verge of breaking down.

“Tony and T’Challa—Wakanda’s King—went after them. I was still not sure what happened there, but in short, T’Challa caught Bucky and several days after that, Steve gave up himself to the police and made a deal so the others would be released and freed from their crimes.”

Thor almost couldn't breathe. So, Steven was not even safe. Could he even meet Steven now? Where was he? Thor felt panic rushed into him. He tried to calm himself. Steven was Captain America, they wouldn't do anything bad to him, right?

“So, is he prisoned now?” Thor asked.

Natasha put her head down, and when Thor looked at her, he could see a single tear falling from her face to the ground, “No, he is not in prison.”

“Then where is he?”

Seeing Natasha cried made him feel unsettled. He was afraid to hear the answer.

“He is gone, Thor,” Natasha finally told him, the one thing she had needed to tell him the most, “He was murdered on his way to his trial. He is dead.”

Dead. Like his mother. Like his father. Like the warrior three. Thor stood up, not believing what Natasha just said. Those words sounded wrong in his ears. That can't be true. Natasha must be messing with him.

“That can’t be true,” He said, walking towards Natasha to look at her in the eyes, “Steven is strong, he can’t die just like that!”

Steven was not like other mortals. He healed faster, he would survive injuries that would kill other mortals. He was strong, almost god-like. Thor had always believed that he would have a long time with Steven. More time that what they already had. It couldn’t be true. Fate shouldn’t mess him up this much, no?

“Seven bullets," Natasha looked up to him, looking truly broken now, "Seven bullets to his body. He is—he was not a god like you, even he could not survive that.”

Seven bullets. That meant Steven was shot seven times. And he didn't survive? Thor didn't realize that he had started crying along with Natasha. This was too much. He couldn't deal with it. His chest felt heavy and he wanted to scream.

“No, you are trying to fool me, aren’t you?” Thor said. He couldn't accept it easily, “Is he hiding somewhere? Tell him that this joke is not funny!”

He lost his parents. His friends. His home. He couldn't lose Steven, too. He couldn't. He didn't know if he could deal with this much loss.

“We buried him more than two months ago,” Natasha said, she brought out her phone and typed something before shoving it to Thor, “Watch this if you couldn’t believe me.”

A video from the news was played on the phone. On it, he could see Steven being brought to a building, accompanied by several officers around him. There were a lot of people and it seemed like they all sneered at Steven. He wanted to throw the phone, he didn't like seeing Steven being disrespected like this.

And then suddenly, he could hear a shot rang out, could see Steven shoving other people out before the first shot pierced through his body. He didn't go down right away, several more shots shot through before he was finally down. Thor couldn't count. His sight was blurry from tears since the first shot.

It was real. Natasha had no reason to lie to him.

He couldn't manage to utter other words when he heard The Hulk's voice from a distance not afar from them. He could even hear things getting broken, distracting him from the video.

“YOU ALL BETRAY HULK! HULK NEEDS TO GO!”

“Oh fuck.”

Both he and Natasha rushed to the commotion.

***

Three hours later, he was back at the lakeside, again staring at the fast landscape in front of him. Hulk had turned back into Bruce and now the scientist is dozing off in one of the rooms, Danvers and Stark watching over him. It took a lot of efforts to subdue The Hulk—he worked with Danvers to stop Hulk from running away, though, in the end, it took a lot of tranquilizers and sedatives to put Hulk to sleep. After getting an explanation from Stark about what set Bruce off, he understood why Bruce was angry.

And now he realized that the situation was that complicated. He probably should keep watch too, perhaps he could use Bruce as a distraction from his grief.

But in the end, he couldn’t even do that. He found himself looking for Steven, wondering what he would do in this situation—Steven always had a plan for anything and everything. For a moment, he forgot that Steven was gone. And when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to find him, the grief struck him anew, with grief for Asgard and his people also bubbling. He didn’t have time to grief before—too busy planning how to survive, too busy planning for the future.

But now that he only needed to wait for his people to come, he felt all those grieves at once. The burden of having to lead his people sat heavy on his shoulder and he needed someone to lean on. He had been hoping that Steven would be that someone—his mere existence would make his life easier. But Steven was gone.

Gone.

“Thor?”

He felt Natasha sitting down by his side. She looked as miserable as he was. She was Steven’s best friend, their relationship was a special thing. Once, Thor thought that they were becoming lovers, but their relationship was not as simple as that. She must have grieved a lot and even though Thor wanted to be angry at someone—she was not the right person. He almost lashed out at her before, and he regretted it.

She lost someone, too.

“My father is dead,” Thor started to say, and even he was surprised at how quiet he sounded to himself, “My friends. A lot of my people are dead. Asgard is gone.”

He needed to stop talking, but he couldn’t. Fresh tears wet his eyes and he wiped them before they could fall. He needed to be strong. But for now, he couldn’t. His mind kept questioning why—he had lived long, but now was the hardest time he had to endure. Heimdall didn’t even tell him what had happened here, even though Thor had asked him to watch over Steven and the other Avengers. He wished Heimdall had told him, at least he would have time to prepare.

But maybe, Heimdall didn’t want him to be distracted.

“I should have stayed here. I couldn’t lose him, too,” he continued. His heart felt empty, hollow. He tried hard to remember Steven’s face, the sadness on his face when he had to let Thor go again.

“If you stayed here, you wouldn’t be able to save the world,” Natasha said, looking at him and then touching his hand, “Danvers told me what you did.”

What would happen if he chose to stay here? Thanos would manage to collect all the stones and execute his plan, perhaps. He should be happy that he managed to prevent that from happening. He _was_ happy about it. But now he couldn’t.

“It has been a long time since I last saw him,” He reminisced, remembering their little picnic here, “We were planning to do a lot of things once I handled the threat looming our universe.”

He sighed.

“I miss him, the thought of finally being able to see him again was what kept me going.”

“I miss him, too,” Natasha said, she let go of Thor’s hand again and stared at the lake instead, “I am sorry for not being able to protect him.”

“It’s not your fault, Steven had a good reason not to sign, but I am sure you too have a good reason to sign,”

“It’s not just that, you know,” Natasha shook his head, her hand now scratching her thigh as she recalled, “I was there when he was killed. I should have moved quicker to save him. When he was down—I should have been by his side, instead, I ran off. Sam was the one with him until the end,” she pounded her thigh now, as if she was trying hard not to cry again, “I shouldn’t have let him gave up himself.”

“He is a stubborn man, He wouldn’t let anyone stop him from doing what he wanted,” Thor said, chuckling, trying to remember all the times when Steven insisted a plan and all the times he insisted that he was fine even though he was obviously injured. Those had become good memories. And considering that he wouldn’t have more memories of Steven—no, he would find a way to bring Steven back. Maybe Loki knew a way. They were gods. They should be able to find a way.

Right?

“Yeah, he is frustrating,” Natasha laughed too, even though both of their laughs were laced with misery, “I am sorry, I was going to comfort you but--”

“You have been having a hard time, too,” Thor said, finally turning to her to pat her back, “Did you catch the shooter?”

“We did, but it doesn’t feel like we did. I ran off to find the shooter, but by the time I got to the roof, he was already dead there. He killed himself,” Natasha told him. Thor couldn’t feel but disappointed—he couldn’t even avenge Steven? It was so unfair and from her tone, Natasha found it unfair, too, “We couldn’t find why he did it. He had no affiliations to any organizations, not one we found, at least. If you ask other people, it was just a case of a fanboy being disappointed that Steve was not as patriotic as he thought he was.”

“And if I ask you?”

“I don’t think so, but I have no proof of anything,” Natasha sighed, “It’s all so...meaningless.”

Was it? There were still a lot of things Thor didn’t understand about the situation. Was it really meaningless? But understanding everything was not Thor’s priority now. He still couldn’t accept that Steven was gone. He needed to see him. Take care of his people. And find a way to bring Steven back.

“Where is Steven buried? I want to see him.”

**Author's Note:**

> I randomly thought about Ballerino!Steve and had to put it somewhere, even if it was only in a dream. Oh don't worry, he will show up again, somehow.
> 
> **Save You, Save Me summary:**
> 
> Steve was thawed earlier and started getting to know Thor earlier in New Mexico, from there they grew to be close friends and started to fall for each other. They started dating sometime between AOU and Civil War. The story diverged on Civil War, in which things mostly happened the same way but ends more closely to the comic. Steve decided to give up himself and accept an ordeal he exchanged himself with his teammates' freedom, before ending up getting shot on his way to trials.
> 
> During Civil War, Thor was in outer space investigating about the Infinity Stones. He ended up meeting The Guardians of The Galaxy who had been planning to stop Thanos, too, and they teamed up with Carol who also heard about Thanos. They did manage to kill Thanos and his army before he collected all of the Infinity Stones. Thor parted ways from them after this and then the events of Thor: Ragnarok happens.


End file.
